I have an amazing mother. She has been my mom for 41 years and the lessons she has taught me about being a wife, a mom, and a woman of God cannot be numbered. I want to take some time to write down just a few of the things I have learned through the incredible example of my mom.
First, her walk with God has been her number one priority. God has never been in a separate box than the rest of life. She clearly demonstrates that God is integrated into every single part of her life. If there is a problem? Stop and ask God for wisdom. In trouble? Pray. Need answers? Find them in the Bible. Daily time with God is not an option for her. She would as much give up her time with God in His Word as give up breakfast, lunch, and supper! She and my dad both taught me at an early age that having my Quiet Time was more important than reading other books, watching television, talking on the phone, or playing games. If I chose to do one of those things before spending time with God, I was making a statement that one of those things was more important to me than God. I was taught by more than just words- I was taught by example. My mom was and is intentional about spending time alone with God on a daily basis.
Life gets messy. And my mom has not had a mess-free life. She has been criticized, misunderstood, taken advantage of, dealt with tragedies and illnesses in her own life, and maybe even worse, in the lives of her children, (Speaking as a mom, I am beginning to wonder if our kids' hurts hurt us worse than our own!). She's been tired, overwhelmed, confused, and sad. Don't think I wasn't watching her during those times. I had to know how she was going to hold up- how she would cope. By God's grace, she turned to Him and to TRUTH every time. She turned to the truth found in the Bible so that she wasn't listening to herself or to the world to determine if she had good reason to be bitter or angry or give up. She never rationalized sinful feelings or emotions. She gave everything to God and prayed for grace to respond in a way that was pleasing to Him. This goes beyond all human reasoning.
Second, and a book could be written on this topic, she has modeled how to be a godly wife like no other woman I know. My dad has been and I'm sure always will be her top priority after God. Growing up, all of us kids knew that Mom would never side with us against Dad. Never. Whether she agreed with him or not! And it wasn't because she didn't care about or us or because she was afraid of him. My mom believed that God appointed the husband to be the head of the home and in order for her to pass that belief on to us, she had to live it out. As a wife of almost 23 years myself, I find it hard to believe that she always trusted that he was making the right decision. I can't imagine that it was always easy to submit to an imperfect man. (as we are ALL imperfect!) What she really showed me is that she was trusting God. If God told her to submit to her husband, then in doing so even when she didn't understand, she was being obedient to and trusting God. And God blessed her for that!
But it was more than just submitting to him. She showed him she cared about him and the things that he cared about. I remember that one thing that my dad did to earn extra money was turn the water on and off at seasonal cottages. When spring rolled around he would turn the water on and when fall came he turned the water off. Did he do it alone? Nope! Mom wanted to be with Dad as much as possible, so she went with him. Of course, having young children, they brought us along as well! The jobs were dirty, involving crawling under cottages to get to where the pipes were and Mom often would be under there with him holding the flashlight or handing him his tools. She hates bugs and dirt as much as the next person, so I was convinced that she did it out of love for him rather than anything else. Dad also dug graves as a way to earn extra money when he was putting his kids through Christian high school. Alone? Not usually! Mom would go along to keep him company or to help in any way she could. Dad felt loved.
Mom showed interest in the things that he was involved with and complimented him like no one’s business! If he was working on a car, she would ask him questions about what he was doing and then tell him how smart he was to be able to do things like that. She would get him his Chilton’s manual from under the couch where he kept it and then listen to him talk about what he thought would be the best solution to the vehicle issue.
And compliments? I heard her constantly telling him how strong he was, how smart he was, how kind he was…. Even for no reason! She would walk by him and touch his arm and then stop, looking shocked, and say, “Honey! Your bicep is huge!” Now, what man wouldn’t want to hear that?
To keep her marriage strong she was intentional with her part in it. She was so selfless, serving my dad with a smile and doing things and going places that were for the sole purpose of spending time with him.
I realize I have been writing this in the past tense and it is NOT an obituary! It’s just that I have been thinking back in my mind so things came out as in the past. But this is very much who my mom is today.
Proverbs 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband safely trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Our husbands hearts will not naturally trust in us unless we as wives intentionally give them reason to. Mom has spent her life purposely loving my dad and demonstrating it even when it didn’t come easy.
One of the reasons I am so grateful to her is because of the example she is to my own kids. They cannot believe the relationship my parents have after 42 years of marriage. They constantly tell me how they want their own marriages to look like that after all that time. They say how romantic it is too! I mean, how many grandfathers text their granddaughter after receiving a happy birthday text to tell them how fun their birthday was because at the end of the day he and his wife danced in the moonlight on the basketball court?
Mom taught me that besides God, our only permanent relationships are our relationships with our husbands. Kids grow up and move away, friends may or may not be there in years to come, but our spouses were intended to be our forever friends...til death do us part! So, Mom is spending her time- still!- investing in her forever friendship more than any other.
What does she gain in all of this? Well...a lot! But one thing is, my dad loves my mom incredibly. He calls her his bride and compliments her publicly often. They could have just determined to put up with each other, but they both decided to do things God’s way and in applying the Scriptures that say how to treat people in general- to each other, they have been blessed by God in amazing ways.
I want to be just like my mother when I grow up.
No comments:
Post a Comment