repetition

I hear his footsteps coming down the stairs.  It's too early.  I wanted more quiet time....alone.  He peeks his head around the corner, dressed only in his underwear.  He finds his favorite blanket from Nana where he left it on the floor the night before and runs over to it, scooping it up and wrapping it around his little body.  I set my coffee on the table beside me, close my Bible and move it off my lap, then I reach for him.  He breaks into a smile and lets me pick him up and snuggle him.  "I love you, Micah." I whisper.  "You love me?" he says  back.  "Very much." I say.  "Very much?" he repeats.  He pushes his head into my neck as I lower my head next to his.  My baby.

"Did you make pampakes?" he asks.  "No." I answer.  "Did you make pamcakes yesterday?".  "No."again.  "I want pamcakes." I get up and find 3 in a baggie in the fridge left over from Saturday.  His face lights up.  "How do you always find pamcakes in the frigde?" he giggles.

He is energy.  Abounding energy.  Early in the morning energy.  How??

He wants to fly paper airplanes.  He goes to his stash in the corner cupboard and chooses.....two.  I know that one is for me.  He hands me one and says, "You go first, Mommy!"  I half-heartedly throw the plane towards the doorway.  It hits the wall.  He throws his and it passes mine.  "I won, Mommy!  I creamed you!".  He races to get both planes and hands me mine again.  "Go again!" he is hopping up and down as he tells me.  Another failed attempt to get it through the doorway.  I keep thinking about how quiet it was moments before.  Over and over we throw the planes.  When is he going to get bored?  Over and over.  The excitement just doesn't die down.  He throws a good one this time- it makes it way down the hallway.  "Beat that!"he says with exuberation making his face almost glow.  Something stirs in me.  I get up off the couch and decide it's time.  I'll show him.  I aim and throw and it looks like it might beat his, but then hits the refrigerator.  "Good job!" he encourages, "but I won!".  He skips away to get both planes and comes back to hand me mine.  I pull my arm back to throw but he stops me, "Wait!  That one is mine!  It has a different nose."  How can he tell?  His face shines when he throws a good one and he doesn't get discouraged when he misses.

I think of a quote I read. “Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.” 
― G.K. Chesterton

Exulting in monotony.  Exult- to show or feel a lively or triumphant joy; rejoice exceedingly; be highly elated or jubilant.  Monotony- wearisome uniformity or lack of variety.

I think that depression often stems from being overwhelmed by the monotony.  Day in and day out.....the same thing.  The same thing? Really?  Doesn't God say He makes all things new?  That His mercies are new every morning?  He is doing a new thing? I think there is "new" every day, but we need to look through the eyes of a child.  We need to see the new and exult in what looks like monotony.  Every flight of those airplanes was a little bit different.  Some flights ended in disaster/failure, others went to places we never expected.  Micah would tell me "find the center of balance and hold it there" or "throw it higher".  Wanting me to not be content with failure.  Find another way!  Try again!  Laugh when it goes under the little pantry instead of through the doorway.  Find the humor in the flight that nosedives into the rug.  Stand up when you can't find success and try harder.  But, for Pete's sake, keep running, keep laughing, and keep trying!

My head aches this morning.  Only Micah has had his breakfast.  I'm behind in my schedule.  But, by God's grace today is a new day.  Everything is new.  I will follow the example of Micah and find the joy and the new in everything that seems monotonous. I just need eyes to see.